Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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