this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
