Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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