last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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