Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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