I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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