It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
