Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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