Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
