Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
