I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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