OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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