I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
