it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
