his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
