No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
