I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
