It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
