I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
