His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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