so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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