im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
