We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
