He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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