I hope mine doesn't look like that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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