It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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