I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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