I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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