Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why do cheetos always look like penises
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
