Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
