I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sobbing to NWA
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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