So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
