did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
