love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
