Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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