everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
