..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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