this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
