All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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