I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I'm really busy with my period
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