i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
