Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
