he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
they're like a gay fantastic four
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
