So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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