i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
