my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
