:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
