Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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