And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
