Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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