Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
