My pussy is not your playground.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Houston, we have a blender
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
