Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
