dude i'm inner monologue high
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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