I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
